Whether or not you believe that the life of Jesus is the greatest story ever told, it has captivated millions of people for 2,000 years and exerted a massive influence on world history. But, truly, only the Son of God could keep a straight face. Drenched in unconvincing fake rain and grimly clutching a wooden sword, Wayne deadpans: "Truly, he was the Saaahn of Gaaaahd." It's not an ideal moment to have the audience hooting with laughter. These days, only obsessive film buffs will be gasping, "Isn't that Joseph Schildkraut playing Nicodemus?" Some appearances still raise a giggle, including Charlton Heston as a shouty and bouffanted John the Baptist, Telly Savalas as Pontius Pilate (he was cast as Kojak years after making this film, but it's nonetheless difficult to watch this without expecting him to drawl to Barabbas: "Who loves ya, baby?"), and, most infamously, John Wayne as the centurion at the crucifixion. When The Greatest Story Ever Told was released, there was criticism of its parade of cameos by famous actors. Photograph: Sportsphoto Ltd/Allstar/Cinetext No lollipops here … Telly Savalas as Pontius Pilate. A few whizz-bang moments would really have livened things up.
Because, if you don't go in for God, this is just three hours of the musings of a first-century Middle Eastern hippie. If the director was concerned about excluding the sceptical audience, you've got to wonder why he picked this subject.
"He walked on water." "Get out!" Historically speaking, this is fine: there's no independent evidence for any of the miracles. "And that's not all." "What else?" asks Pontius Pilate. "The next thing we know, they'll be calling him the Messiah," complains a Jewish leader. The feeding of the 5,000 and turning water into wine are mentioned, but not shown. Lazarus is raised from the dead in long shot, so you can't really see what's going on. This movie tells the story of the journey from Egypt to Nazareth to Jerusalem from the eyes of Jesus at. They're depicted as if they could be mainly the result of his charisma. the life of Jesus as a child may have been like. Jesus heals a few of the sick, but the supernatural side of the miracles is played down. A bit too low-key … Photograph: Allstar/Cinetext/United Artists
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